Recently I have started reminding myself of my good qualities during my early morning meditation. This is one way of keeping happy, strengthening your good qualities and appreciating the self. It helps me to stay in my self-respect too.
Yesterday I attended a BK course on self-worth/self-esteem and it was amazing..so here’s what I learnt.
Our consciousness i.e. what we keep in our awareness affects our spiritual stage. Having self-worth means self-acceptance, self-appreciation, being confident and having faith in the self, being content, having self-respect and respect for others.
The opposite means that you complain all the time, you are critical towards yourself and others, you are judgemental, you are either passive or aggressive, you have a low self-worth.
When we are in a soul conscious stage we have high self-worth and feel good in life no matter what. Having ego means that you have low self-esteem.
Here are some behaviours that indicate high self-worth: Feels worthy, happy, has inner peace, can learn from mistakes, takes calculated risks, accepts and empowers others, obstacles become a means to move forward, has clarity, has self-respect, respects body and health problems, has an attitude of learning and progressing, is independent, experiences success, is tolerant, learns lessons and moves on, challenges fears, secure, transforms anger and channels energy, is humble, is motivated, is calm, never feels lonely.
The following symptoms suggest low self-worth: feels worthless, sad, inner turmoil, can’t cope with mistakes, stays in comfort zone, critical of others, obstacles are barriers to progress, confusion and indecisiveness, lacks self-respect, smokes, drinks, takes drugs, has eating disorders, stuck in the past, dependent, sees themselves as a failure, intolerant, guilty about actions, lives in fear, insecure, crippled by anger, blames others, weak, seeks to be significant, procrastinates, easily irritated, may feel lonely.
In order to develop high self-worth you can remind yourself of your good qualities in meditation. You simply need to change the filter of the intellect through which you see yourself and your life. Write down your good qualities and turn them into positive self-affirmations. Eg. I’m an honest and powerful soul. Create these powerful thoughts every day and you will soon start to feel the impact.
Another thing you can do is have a conversation between the inner child and the supportive parent. This will help to nurture your inner child. For example say there is a situation where you are being left out of a group…
Inner child: I’m sad because my team leader always leaves me out.
Parent: So it makes you feel sad?
Inner child: Yeah, they’re mean to me.
Parent: So they’re mean to you?
Inner child: Yeah.
Parent: Well how about making sure that we always include everyone?
Inner child: Yeah, I can do that.
Parent: That way we remain powerful.
This is a sort of counselling and it can help you to find good solutions to your obstacles. The way to find solutions to your obstacles using this sort of method requires a peaceful state of mind and clarity of thought. This technique, and others, are explained more fully in the BK True Self-Esteem course which is run by Diane Tillman and Peter Keogh.
Some other BK literature which can help you on develop your self-esteem include:
Living values based life (Hindi DVD)
Views on Values DVD (English DVD)
Nurturing with Love and Wisdom, Disciplining with Peace and Respect: A mindful guide to parenting (book)
Living Our Values – An “inside out approach” to change your world for the better (book)