Overcoming personality clashes with othersJasween Dogra
I find myself sometimes peaceless due to personality clashes with other souls. I have had some negative experiences due to my own thinking. This can cause the mind to get stuck on one channel. I am now learning to be more mature in handling situations.
I have learned that it is best not to get involved in other peoples issues. The cleanest and safest way to help others is by sending them good vibrations. The world really needs that right now.
When you have a personality clash with somebody, it is usually because they think they are right and you think you are right. The two people then come into disagreement. Disagreements tend to be ego based. Each is scared that they will be abused or damaged by the other.
If one person can be humble and understand where the other is coming from then the argument is over. This means that both have won. The power to tolerate can then be used to give respect to the other. Very often, the other person needs something from you and when they don’t get what they want clashes happen.
Remember that proving you are right does not mean you have “won”. It may even spoil the friendship. The truth never has to be proved but will reveal itself.
It is important to have relationships in your life. We cannot avoid others. Without relationships we cannot grow and learn. What is going on inside tends to be reflected in what is going on outside. So maintaining a good relationship with yourself is a good way to have good friendships with others.
If you can be at peace when someone is being nasty to you then they will stop doing it because they know that it is not affecting you.
When interacting with others it is best to keep a balance between being loving and detached. That way the other person will not be dependent on you. It is good to give respect to the other and to show that respect through your eyes and face. It is not enough to create positive thoughts about the other soul.
Something that I have recently learned is that the problem is never the other person. The problem is always something to do within ourselves. For example, someone tells you that you smell. Then either it’s true and the person is trying to point something out to you or it could be that the person just wants to be nasty to you in which case it means you are attracting negativity because there is something negative in you/you have a weakness. That is true spirituality. Another way to explain it is that Drama is accurate and perfect, so whatever comes to depends on what you throw out.
Whatever the quality of our vibrations, that is what we attract in our lives. So what we see around us in our environment is a clear indication of what is going on inside.
Other practical things you can do are forgive the other person if they have upset you and send them God’s pure wishes and good feelings.
There is a great saying I have heard, “the problem was never between you and the other person anyway, it was always between you and God”.
Remember that it is your good fortune if you have clashing sanskars with someone because they are showing you your weaknesses.
May you overcome your weaknesses!
You can find out more about how to get along with others in the following publications:
It’s Time for Relationships – book by Aruna Ladva
Don’t get Mad, get Wise – book by Mike George
Embracing Forgiveness – CD by Anthony Strano