Attitude in relationshipsMaureen McCaldin
Our attitude creates our perception of what is happening in our relationships in life. If I have the attitude that someone is irritating, I will always find something irritating in that person’s behaviour so my attitude is a mind set that determines my experience of the relationship. That attitude of irritation comes from the ego mind. The ego attitude is of taking and of selfishness and is based on the limited events of life in this physical world, whereas the attitude of an angel, my true identity, is benevolent and altruistic, of giving and accepting others as they are, and is aware of the bigger picture beyond the events of the physical world, the drama story.
Is everyone an angel?
All are souls and so angelic beings who have the lovely qualities of the soul – peace, love, happiness. This understanding enables us to appreciate the natural beauty of everyone’s true identity.
Drama of Life
Where do likes and dislikes come from?
Personal likes and dislikes come when the ego mind only sees the role the other is playing and does not see the soul/angelic being. In a theatre play we may like Cinderella and dislike the Ugly Sisters but the actors are not those roles they are playing. In the same way, we the souls are all actors playing our parts in this drama of life. So we. the actor souls, can have an attitude of acceptance towards all others because we understand that each soul is playing their part accurately and the role they are playing is not who they are.
Where do opinions come from?
We create a belief structure from all the external influences we experience from the culture we grow up in. Most people are influenced by their parents, their peer group and things like the media, etc. From these belief systems come opinions. Likes and dislikes are opinions of the ego. Opinions are not truth because they can change. Also, others may dislike those we like and like those we dislike. Who is right?
What are they?
Expectations are a form of desires. The ego has the attitude that the people we interact with should fulfil our expectations which are usually centred around how the ego would like the other to be. The ego creates attachments with the attitude that I will love you but only if you love me, The ego will only give love in the expectation that it will receive love because it needs constant reassurance that it is worthy of love. If the love is not returned the ego will look elsewhere or take revenge on the one who is not returning its love, eg, by refusing to speak to the other for a week or more. The same is true of respect; the ego creates expectations that it will receive respect from others and depends on receiving that respect to help it seem worthy.
Where is our power?
When we create a dependency of expectations, that is, our happiness has become dependent on another, we have given away our power to be happy to the other. It is as though the ego is signalling that everyone out there is responsible for our happiness when really we all know that only we are responsible for our happiness – no one makes us unhappy.
We always have to come back to the understanding of who we are really, the eternal actor soul playing a part in the drama of life. The part is not who we are but the ego has taken over our sense of self and placed that sense of self in the part. Consequently we can get caught up in relationships in the drama and become dependent on them. When we wake up and understand that we are spiritual beings and not a part in the drama, we realise that love serves the relationship not the ego.