If You Don’t Mind, Then It Doesn’t MatterAruna Ladva
Isn’t the mind a devil at times; conjuring up a conspiracy against our peace, positivity and well-being! It can draft up negative or wasteful thoughts from simple situations and convince us to react rather than to respond. We need to befriend and bend our own mind if we are to steer it clear of making mountains out of molehills, or taking sorrow from situations.
The mind is difficult to understand and even more difficult to tame. Like mercury, it is slippery and not easy to contain. One day the mind agrees to fun and frolic, and the next day it wants to be in isolation and solitude.
According to its mood, the mind can make small things big, or the other way around. However, if the mind, the part of me that creates thoughts, decides not to ‘mind’… that is… not pay attention, take sorrow, or take to heart certain things, then whatever is the issue does not really matter. And we can save ourselves a lot of stress and stay light.
Mark Twain said: “Age is a matter of mind over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” And isn’t this the case with many other things in our lives? If we don’t seem to mind, then those things don’t really matter, do they? Age is one of those issues, other things may be people’s habits, for example, if their level of cleanliness does not match your exacting standards, a car driver’s bad manners, annoyingly loud music, or even seeing your own hair go grey and the list goes on…
Why is it that on some days everything appears to be hunky-dory and nothing seems to bother us, and yet on other days a similar situation can pull us down? Or, we react or respond towards the same person or situation in differing ways depending on the impulse of the mind.
We create limitations within our mind as to what is acceptable and what is not, but perhaps those lines keep shifting depending on our whim or our mood. We need to understand that unless we create clear boundaries for the mind and request it to stay within those limits, it is going to continue to waver and create disturbance and confusion.
If we allow a thousand trifling things to overtake our mind, we will constantly be upset, aggravated and unhappy. In other words, if you take sorrow from the situation then it means it is bothering you – you have allowed it to disturb you and take your peace away. If you decide not to give something trivial your attention, then it will cease to bother you. In fact you probably won’t even notice that it’s there!
We need to conquer the mind, not the situation. Situations will come and go, but if you realise that it just doesn’t really matter, then you can let it go. It’s a case of ‘minding your mind’ so that it behaves in an appropriate way according to the circumstances. Then you will find that nothing really matters that much, in other words, nothing is worth more than your peace and sanity.
It is the arrogant mind that takes control of our lives and makes us judge whether something is worthy of giving attention to or not, be it love or hate, respect or disrespect. If the ego is hurt, then the mind finds fault with that person or situation, we take sorrow and then it ‘matters’. If on the other hand the ego was pampered, then perhaps we do not mind, and then it doesn’t matter.
It’s time… to mind your mind and to decide to let go of the things that don’t really matter. Draw clear boundaries for your mind. As a master choose what you prefer to focus your attention on and stay stress-free and light. And remember… if you don’t mind, then nothing really matters that much!
‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, Inspired Stillness London